Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Westernized ≠ Gaining Western Tastes...

At least not with food.

Recall: I already had one whole bag of Ruffles to myself, and a Coke.

Even after I burped myself gasless I was still feeling bloated. Then my dad came back with the KFC two-piece meal, with Cheese Fries instead of coleslaw.

I shouldn't have taken my dad's word for it that we were sharing the meal. He said we were because he was taking a long stroll to Ikea Tampines later to check out plastic bins. After an eternity with us of use and abuse, our plastic bin is cracked and worn. So he said that he would share the KFC with me, then go get Ikea food.

He didn't share. He took a drumstick and a few cheese fries. I was already more than satiated by the time I was done with the KFC meal, but of course I didn't inform him that I already had Ruffles for lunch. The Friday before the Chinese New Year break I already did that and he let it pass. I don't want to put myself in the open for a lecture.

Some time later he called me and asked how much food he should buy back. I tried to make things easier for my cover-up by saying that 15 meatballs, 12 chicken wings and another shitload of fries were way too much for three (my mom was eating out because she had a hairdressing appointment). Then he mumbled and jumbled abit, and we hung up. Even at this point I still was feeling real full.

He came back with 10 wings, 15 meatballs, and one packet of fries.

Years of practice allowed me to keep an indifferent face. But my mom wasn't home to help me if I wanted to stop, my dad would do his usual tropical storm over all the food (wolfing a few mouthfuls then moving on), and my brother is unbearably obsessed with weight loss/maintainence. Not that I shouldn't be more concerned myself, but he's behaving like a fucking anorexic dammit. I knew I had to put up some resistance if I didn't want unwanted food mashed in my face.

I must say, the fact that the food was rather nice kept me going for awhile. I mean like who can resist the meatball sauce? But after like two chunks of half-potatoes 4 meatballs some fries and 2 chicken wings (which were rather big), my breathing was already labored. After my dad attempted to get me to finish the last 4 meatballs in addition to my share of 4 wings, got declined, and got declined by my brother, he turned to me again.

'If not like that la you eat 3 wings and then finish the rest of the meatballs. Otherwise waste.'
'Then why did you buy so much?' I said peeved.
'Ngahhh... can finish one la you so big.'

And this is the same guy who tells me about the terrors of NS and the 3-month extra intensive physical training if I don't shape up. I decide to lapse into my sullen mode. This is usualy the cue for my mom to step in and tell me it's ok to stop, and to chide my dad for egging me on like that. But she's... not... here........

'Of course, if you could finish the meatballs and 4 wings that would be -'

After I finished the meatballs he threw the fries at me. 'Have it with the meatball sauce. If not waste.'

I ignored the meatball sauce, but after a few fries I felt my blood rushing to my stomach, which was enduring a major overclock, and asked if we could save the fries for later, when mom came back. At least I'd have time to digest abit.

'Finish it now laaaa, later she come back see the fries she'll gua gua jiao (grumble, make noise, kao peh, whatever you're familiar with).'
'I can't.'

Now this was where he drew his sharpest sword. Unfortunately, circumstances and his own folly sharpened and reinforced my blade far more than his, and I cut his final move into half with one clean slice.

'Haiyah, next time go out I don't think of you anymore ah huh.'
'Don't be ridiculous,' I snapped weakly, feeling my face growing more and more pallid by the second, 'I already told you not to buy so much, and you still bought so much food, and now you're blaming us for not finishing it?'

With no weapons left, he returned to cajoling.

'Ahhhh abit of fries only lahhh.'

I'm still suffering now from the grease of it all. I won't mind if this kept me off Western food for awhile. All the better for my body. Guhh.

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