Having accepted the tasks of both editing the Pfingo video as well as post-production for the latest episode of 65bits, I found my circumstances suddenly spiralling severely out of control. I was torn between putting these two episodes online as soon as possible, and satisfying my parents' demands to study more. Of course, there wasn't really anything to study, but even I felt that I was on the computer working on either of these things incessantly. From the moment I bathed and finished the usual routines of reading my RSS feeds and clearing my email, to late at night, when I was either too tired, drawn away by something more important, or distracted away from the task.
More importantly though, I was worrying constantly about these two episodes. Not when they will come out, that is a concern but not my primary one, but just that they kept dwelling on my mind, one after another, one after the other. It didn't help that (1) my computer's a bloody crawler (although I think as a human in a fast-paced society, even a fast computer won't last too long before my task speed surpasses its abilities. Human adaptability, you know) and (2) I kept making mistakes, resulting in unnecessary actions such as having to re-upload an episode three times because of one factor or the other.
I'm a Christian, and I proudly subscribe to my church's beliefs on worrying (ie. not worrying at all [Matt 6:25] why worry about things beyond your control?). Still, a good number of well-taught Christians would tell you that the simplest truths in the Bible are the dead hardest to habitualize. Why? Precisely because they are so simple. The truth is simple, but it's flipside may well be simpler to fall into. I wasted all my time worrying when I could have spent the time to rest and seek joy. For me, it is seeking rest and joy in my Lord. For you, it may be a million other things. Why did I need to worry? I was going to only reach home at this time anyway. My computer is this slow anyway. I can only do so much in one night anyway.